


folded, and unfolded, and unfolding

by sabinelagrande



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Darkest Lightest Timeline, Episode: e044 The Sunken Tomb, F/M, Percy rolls a 1 on his Persuasion check, Wishes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 21:26:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9346553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabinelagrande/pseuds/sabinelagrande
Summary: Percy makes two mistakes in very short succession, and literally everything changes.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story diverges from canon towards the end of The Sunken Tomb, but has spoilers up to the beginning of the Feywild arc. Also, there are a fair few lines from the show sprinkled in, for, y'know, flavor.

_One moment Vex was alive, and the next she was not._

_Everything about it was Percy's fault; he'd spent every moment since going over it in his head, reliving every second. He could have waited to reach for the armor, and he didn't. That snap decision was all he needed to unmake Vex._

_When Kash tried to resurrect her, Percy gave everything he had, the very compacted essence of his city. He wasn't the only one; Zahra gave the aid of her patron, and Vax gave himself entire to a deity, no restrictions or questions asked. Percy had been thinking ever since whether he should have offered too, should have given more._

_But it couldn't change what happened. At the last second, the dark energy of Vesh overtook any hope of healing, and the ritual was snuffed out like a candle. Kash screamed in pain, clutching at the scars on his arms, and Vex did not rise again._

\--

Percy wakes up in a room that is not his own.

It is not his own for several reasons; for starters, it is in Greyskull Keep, where Percy hasn't been since shortly after the Conclave attacked. On top of that, it is Vex's bedroom, which Percy has actually been inside maybe four or five times since construction was completed. On top of _that_ , Vex is beside him, wearing not a stitch of clothing, which is not a thing Percy sees in his room- or indeed, ever.

Percy lets out a sigh. It worked. Vex is safe. The rest he can figure out as he goes.

The first thing to figure out is lying next to him, stirring in her sleep. She rolls towards him, putting a hand on his stomach; Percy can't decide if she's awake or not, but he gathers her to him, hugging her close. Nothing matters like holding her, pressing his face into her hair, seeing her vital and alive.

Then he remembers they're both naked, and gingerly lets her go.

It's enough to rouse Vex; she hugs him close to her for a moment before pushing herself up on her elbows to look down at him. She leans over and kisses him, and Percy is too shocked to stop her. It's a good kiss, but it feels like the kiss of people who have kissed before, a greeting rather than a gesture of passion.

"Morning, love," Vex says.

"Good morning," Percy says, because really, what else is there to say?

"Did you sleep well?" she asks.

"As well as can be expected," he replies. He can tell his attempt to play along is not working, because Vax is looking at him in concern.

"Darling, what's wrong?" she asks, carding a hand through his hair. "You look pale. Well, paler than usual."

"Feeling a bit under the weather," he says, because by now he does feel a little sick.

She kisses his forehead before slipping out of bed. "Come and have some breakfast, and maybe you'll feel better."

Percy watches her for a moment, contemplating his next move and trying not to ogle her too blatantly. She goes to her wardrobe, opening it wide, and Percy's clothes hang inside, casually mingled with Vex's. That solves one problem, but it leads to a multitude of others.

Vex dresses quickly, making no attempt to hide herself from Percy, and she comes over to give him another kiss before she leaves. "Don't keep me waiting," she says.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Percy says, and Vex walks out.

Percy has no idea what he's just done.

\--

_Outside the tomb, Percy went far from the rest of the group, away from the recriminations he knew he deserved. Nothing they could do to him would make him feel lower than he did now; he could always do that to himself better than anyone else could._

_But he had an idea._

_The skull was stuffed at the bottom of his pack, where it had been since he smuggled it out of his workshop. He pulled it out, looking it over; it looked just the same as when he'd put it in._

_"Who's your friend?" Zahra asked from behind him, and Percy startled._

_"A terrible idea, a way out of this, or both," he said. "He says he can grant one wish if I free him."_

_"Unlikely," she said._

_"I figure worst case scenario, we have to fight a demon, and honestly, we can take him," Percy said._

_Zahra sighed. "I think I know what you want to ask for."_

_"I'm just rehearsing my phrasing," he said, turning the skull over and over in his hands. It had been silent for some time, but on the edges of his perception, Percy swore he could hear it breathing._

\--

At breakfast, Percy looks around at the table and tries to figure out what the fuck he did.

He knows where he is, though it's not where he started from, but he's starting to think he doesn't know _when_ he is. The keep looks fine, like it hasn't seen any damage, so maybe he's moved them all into some far future. He's not sure how to determine that just from what he has right here; of all of them, he's fairly sure he's the one who ages the quickest, but he didn't look much different in the glass this morning.

If it's moved him into the past, it can't have been very long. Craven Edge is mounted on the wall, in what looks like a place of honor, and that was a relatively recent addition. Percy suddenly realizes that might have been the result of what he did, Grog's life forfeit for Vex's. The idea of trying to measure the worth of one of their lives over the other makes his stomach churn, though in his darker moments, he's done it before.

Percy is still contemplating this when Grog comes in, takes Craven Edge off the wall, and puts it on his belt. So not that, then.

The rest of them filter in, taking up their usual seats. Percy looks each of them over, trying to look for any clues. Pike is with them, but that doesn't tell him much, given how Pike comes and goes. Tiberius is not, which is a little more indicative. It takes him a moment to notice that Vax is missing, no plate set out for him, and that is alarming. 

The other alarming thing is Vex's face. The rest of them look more or less the same, but Vex doesn't. In the half-light of her- their?- bedroom, Percy couldn't really tell any difference in her face; this is quite possibly because he was busy looking at much more than her face, which he can't be blamed for. She was obviously projecting when she said Percy looked pale; she looks drawn, tired in a way that goes beyond missing sleep.

He doesn't need to be a genius to connect the dots between Vax's plate and Vex's appearance. He just needs to know how bad it is, what happened to Vax that they're not feeding him anymore.

There is idle chatter at the table, a discussion of future enemies, and Percy notices that Vex isn't saying much. "I'd fight a tarrasque," Grog says. "Might be my last fight, but as long as somebody made it out alive to tell everyone how badass it was, that would be okay."

"After five dragons, it would be a break," Percy says jovially, testing the temporal waters.

"Five dragons?" Scanlan says. "Where are you getting five dragons from?"

"Uh," Percy says intelligently. "The Conclave?" Percy's heart starts to beat out of his chest. "Did they- are they not-"

Vex gives him a strange look. "Percy, dear, what are you on about?"

"I think I'm going to pass out," Percy says, though he thinks he might throw up first. If they haven't come yet, he can't bear to relive that day again; if they never came, then-

"Breathe," Vex says, putting her hands on the sides of his face. "Breathe with me. In and out."

It works a little, and Percy manages to calm himself enough to stand up from his chair. Pike stands up, walking over and putting a hand on Percy's arm. "Let's get you some fresh air, okay?" she says.

"I'll come with you," Keyleth says. Percy gets the strangest sense that they've done this before, and that they are stopping Vex from helping. Either way, he lets them do it, ushering him out of the hall.

"Why isn't Vax here?" he asks Keyleth as they walk, because asking Vex seems like a bad idea.

Keyleth stops, wrapping Percy up in a hug. "I ask myself that every day," she says sadly, squeezing him tight before she lets him go.

"Alright, I give," Percy says. "Back to the table, please."

\--

_"I have some experience with these situations," Zahra said, somewhat reluctantly; it piqued Percy's curiosity, but now was not the time. "Say you want one resurrection spell, to be applied immediately to Vex and Vex alone, no other effects. Say that simply and clearly, and if this thing has the power to give you your wish, it should be bound by those terms."_

_"Maybe you should be the one to do this," Percy said, only half kidding._

_"Maybe we shouldn't do this at all," Zahra said gently. "Kash failed, but another cleric might succeed. I cared for her too, but if I may be indelicate, a body can wait for resurrection."_

_"Perhaps I'm not thinking clearly," Percy allowed. "But if I can fix this, maybe I can redeem myself."_

_"This is a very dangerous path," Zahra told him. "There are other ways to repair your friendships."_

_Percy took a deep breath. "I'm doing this," he said. "Would you stay?"_

_Zahra looked hesitant for a moment, but eventually nodded. "I will."_

_Percy shook the skull. "Hello in there," he said. "I'm ready."_

\--

"We should have a meeting," Percy says, after pulling out Keyleth and Pike's chairs and motioning for them to sit.

There is generalized confused glancing around the table.

"Are we not meetin' now?" Grog asks. "We look pretty met."

"Then let's try this again," Percy says. "Since you're all gathered here, I have something to tell you."

"What is it, dear?" Vex asks, looking at him in concern.

Percy takes a deep breath.

"Vex died and I used the githyanki skull to resurrect her and I don't know what happened but I think I might have thrust myself into an alternate timeline where the circumstances of her death couldn't occur," he says all in a rush. "Also I don't know why Vax isn't here but maybe it's related."

There is a long silence.

\--

_"What do you ask in trade for my freedom?" the skull said, and Percy could have sworn it was mocking him._

_Percy prepared his words carefully, but something in him snapped; panic rushed in, wiping away all his good intentions. An entire lifetime's worth of careful speech, of delicate words, of perfected double-talk dissolved in an instant, and Percy seized up entirely._

_"Undo what happened," Percy said, voice wavering. "Let her live. Give Vex'ahlia back to me."_

_The voice laughed. "Be it on your head," it said, and Percy dashed the skull to the ground._

_The last thing he heard before everything went black was Zahra muttering, "Oh, fuck me."_

\--

"I died?" Vex says, in a small voice.

"And it was my fault," Percy says. "Kashaw tried to revivify you, but it didn't take. I think Vesh interfered."

"Kashaw from the Slayer's Take?" Keyleth says, sounding more interested than she probably should at a time like this.

"What's a griftyanker?" Grog asks.

"Do you think Vax is okay?" Pike says.

Percy holds up his hands. "If we could please take this one at a time," he says.

"You have a _lot_ of explaining to do," Vex says.

Percy gives them the high points of the last few weeks- his, anyway- from the Conclave to the Vestiges to the tomb. He knows it's a lot of information to take in, and most of their faces are grave, puzzled.

"Sounds like problem solved," Grog says, satisfied. "No more dragons, everything's fine. You gambled and won."

"I'm not confident there are no dragons," Percy says. "They could still exist here and be waiting to attack."

"It's two months past Winter's Crest," Scanlan points out. "If they're here, they missed their appointment."

"What about Vax?" Vex says, and though she says it quietly, it cuts through like a knife.

"Yes, what about Vax?" Percy asks.

They glance at each other, and finally Keyleth speaks up. "On the day Uriel announced he was giving up his throne, Vax walked into the city and never came back." 

"At first I thought I pissed him off, kind of on purpose," Grog says. "But I couldn't have pissed him off bad enough that he'd leave Vex without sayin' something."

"We looked for him for weeks, but we never figured out where he went," Scanlan says. "Just poof, he was gone."

With a sudden, crushing certainty, Percy knows who to ask.

"Did you go to Vasselheim?" he asks.

"We've only been back once," Keyleth says. She shakes her head. "Sorry, it's hard to have a conversation with you about things you were there for. You and Vex even stopped in and saw Victor."

"I do regret not remembering that," Percy says. "If anyone knows where Vax is, it's probably the Raven Queen."

"Look, Vax is probably dead in a ditch somewhere," Grog says; no one reacts except to roll their eyes, which makes Percy think this isn't the first time they're having this argument. "Every time Keyleth's scryed on him, she's gotten no answer."

"And like I tell you every time, it just means he's not on this plane," Keyleth says.

"I think he might not exist anymore, not in the same way," Percy says, working through it in his head. "I think whatever deal he made might have pulled him out of this timeline entirely."

"I still don't know what a timeline is," Grog says.

"Some scholars think that there are many versions of ourselves that live alternate lives," Percy says, which may not be small enough words for Grog but is the best he can do. "In those lives, the decisions we make and the things we do have other outcomes."

"How do you know?" Grog asks, looking at Percy intently in a way that makes him uncomfortable.

"No one knows," Percy says. "It's theoretical."

"Here's what we do know," Grog says. "There are supposed to be dragons, and there are no dragons. Maybe you came from another, shittier world, or maybe you didn't. If you start fuckin' with it, who knows what you could do. Vax could appear out of nowhere, or any kind of bad shit could happen."

"I can't believe the words I'm about to say, but Grog has a good point," Scanlan says. "And what would you even do? What you're suggesting, you're talking about either divine intervention or Wishes, and Pike already tried divine intervention to find Vax."

"Maybe Sarenrae isn't the deity we need to consult," Percy says. "If Vax belongs to the Raven Queen, then the Raven Queen is top priority."

"And how do you plan to talk to the Raven Queen?" Grog asks.

"I-" Percy starts, but then he stops, thinking about it. "I have no idea. Her temple is in Vasselheim. If anyone knows, it'll be them. Keyleth, if you would?"

Keyleth looks torn. "I don't know, Percy," she says. "This is a really big thing you're asking, and we don't know what the consequences will be. Vax is important, but maybe we should all take some time to think about it."

"I'm sorry, I thought I was dealing with Vox Machina," Percy says, snide annoyance creeping into his voice. "We rush in like a pack of idiots to save people. It's what we do."

"We've learned a little patience," Scanlan says. "You could stand to learn some too."

Percy looks around at them, frustrated and disbelieving; he frowns when he realizes another chair is empty. "Where's Vex?"

Pike sighs. "It's not easy for her when we talk about Vax," she says. "She took it hard."

"I can't say I'm surprised," Percy says, and despite himself he feels guilty for having upset her. "Someone should talk to her about this. I understand that it's hard, but we can't leave her out."

"It should be you," Keyleth says. "You know the most about what's going on, and she'll take it better if it's coming from you."

"She takes a lot of things coming from you," Scanlan says.

"Scanlan," Pike says, quietly reproachful.

"That wasn't appropriate," Scanlan says, "and that's why it's hilarious."

"Let's table this discussion," Percy says. "Think about what I've said. I know it's a lot of difficult information, but I can't do this alone. It's not fair or feasible."

"You'd do it if it just wasn't fair," Grog says, and Percy leaves rather than get into that particular argument.

Percy doesn't have to go far to find Vex; she's in the first place he looks, sitting on their bed and staring at the wall. She doesn't look up when he enters, and he drags her chair out from its place and sits down across from her, a careful distance away.

"All this time, I thought it was my fault," she says, looking relieved and sick at the same time. "Vax-" She rubs her forehead. "We had a fight. He said I cared more about staying with you than I did about him."

"So you exchanged some heated words," Percy says, ignoring all the rest of it, which is too big for him to deal with right now. "He never would have left you no matter how angry he was. Honestly, it was just bad timing. I think his disappearance has more to do with a goddess of death than any fight you might have gotten into."

"I don't know if that makes me feel better or not," Vex says. "You said he gave himself to the Raven Queen to save me."

"Yes," he says.

"That still makes it my fault," she insists.

"You can't do this to yourself," he says, putting a hand on her arm. "You died, and things happened. None of them were under your control or your fault."

She pulls away from him sharply. "And you," she says in a dangerous tone.

"And me," he says.

"Anything could have happened," she says. "You could have gotten everyone killed, or unleashed a fucking demon from that skull. You had no idea what you were messing with, but you did it anyway."

"I had to try," he says. "If there was any chance I could save you, I had to do it, no matter the consequences."

"So what, you'd just burn the world down for me without a second thought?" she asks, agitated.

Percy sighs. "Apparently so."

Vex's expression hardens. "And that makes us different from the Briarwoods how?"

It hits Percy in the chest, and now he feels a little sick. "There is a difference," he insists. "Maybe the difference is uncomfortably small, but it exists."

"I don't see it," she says.

"I saved hundreds of lives," he protests. "I might have wished the Conclave out of existence."

"Look at me and tell me that was your intention," she says. "Look at me and say that you had the greater good in mind."

Percy's shoulders slump. "I can't do that," he says simply. "I have no objectivity when it comes to you. I'm too selfish. When it's you, I can't stop myself."

"And how long have you not been stopping yourself?" Vex asks.

"I've only known I was here since this morning," he says. "What happened before then is between you and some other Percy. I am not a good man, but I would never take advantage of you." Vex looks wary, but like she believes him, and he sighs. "If you want me to tell you I'm sorry I tried to resurrect you, you're never going to hear it. I did it as badly as I could possibly have done it, but I'm not sorry that I tried."

"Were we together, in the timeline you came from?" she asks.

"No," he says, and for some reason he wants to wince.

"Did you want to be?" she says.

There's no point in lying, so Percy goes for broke. "Constantly, but the time was never right," he says. "I was never right, not for you."

Vex laughs, but the sound carries very little mirth. "You said the same thing when I asked you the first time. You said you were too broken to be a good idea."

"I'm surprised I was so forthcoming," he says.

"I didn't feel the same way," she says, almost like she's saying it to herself.

"If things don't change irrevocably, then the two of us need to have a long talk," Percy says. "But to be perfectly frank, I might tear a hole in reality at some point in the next few days, and I think both of us would prefer to postpone that conversation until we know if it's necessary."

"Try not to tear a hole in reality," Vex says.

"I'm working on it," he says. "I'll get Vax back. That, I swear to you."

Vex looks conflicted, like she doesn't know what to say, but eventually she nods. He wants to take her into his arms, comfort her, but he doesn't know how she'd react. Instead, he sees himself out and goes down to his workshop. If he can't do anything else, he can make bullets. Effecting that change in the world is not particularly hard, and it can't have as many consequences as everything else he's done.

Percy keeps busy and keeps to himself for the rest of the afternoon. He's not precisely avoiding the rest of them, but he also doesn't know what to say. He needs some time to think all of this through, to go through and weigh each of his options. This is what sends him to what was Tiberius's laboratory; he sifts through the random assortment of scrolls and books that still remain, coming up with a blank sheet of parchment and a stubby pencil. He's actually not sure if it's a scroll of telescription or if he's going to write on regular parchment and wait for a response like an asshole, but it's worth a shot.

 _Tiberius, it's Percy_ , he writes. _What do you know about alternate timelines?_

A few moments pass before an answer appears. _It's outside my magical purview,_ the scroll says, in Tiberius's distinctive handwriting. _I know the theory of them. I also know that almost everyone who researches them goes mad._

Percy hesitates for a moment before writing, _I think I might be in one._

There is a flash of light behind him, and Percy jumps. The runes of the teleportation circle are glowing, and standing in the middle of them is a red dragonborn, flicking invisible dust off his robes.

"It was faster," Tiberius says. "Now what's all this about timelines?"

"Things went very wrong where I was, and Vex died," Percy says. "I made a wish to bring her back to life, but I did it very, _very_ badly."

"Hmph," Tiberius says. "Many a man has been brought down by a badly worded wish."

"I think I might have brought down all of Exandria," Percy says.

"Poppycock," Tiberius says. "Draconia stands proud. Tal'Dorei stands proud. Othanzia, well, who cares what's happening in Othanzia."

Percy suddenly realizes that he doesn't know what's happening in Draconia where he comes from, but he knows it's not good. "If you had the chance to make the world better through inaction, would you do it?" he asks.

"No," Tiberius says. "It's nice to think that one would take the easy way out if it was more positive, but that is not the way of a Stormwind."

"The de Rolos were a lot better about that," Percy says. "If my family had lived, I probably would have done little to nothing with my life."

"Then you have the chance to rise above it, or the chance to carry on a fine tradition," Tiberius says. "If you give me a few days, I can try to gather some research."

"Thank you," Percy says. Tiberius steps into the circle again. "Don't you want to say hello to everyone else?"

Tiberius looks conflicted. "I think it's better if I don't," he says finally. "Keep the scroll with you, and I'll let you know what I find."

"I look forward to it," Percy says. Tiberius says his incantations, the circle flashes, and he disappears.

Night is falling, and Percy slips upstairs, going to the kitchen and having a quick bite before he can see anyone else. There is no one in their makeshift library, and Percy spends a fruitless few hours looking through books he's already read for clues he knows aren't there. By now, it's just before the time he usually goes to bed, and he wonders if he can sneak in and find some pajamas in his and Vex's room before Vex gets there.

This plan goes completely haywire when Percy steps into the room and shuts the door. The light is out, but Percy hears crying, the unmistakeable sound of someone sobbing into a pillow. In an instant Percy is at the bed, and he sort of forgets to be uncomfortable in his rush to comfort Vex. 

He climbs into bed, putting a hand on Vex's shoulder. "Vex," he says gently. "Vex, it's okay."

Vex tries to laugh and cry at the same time, which comes out as a hiccup. "You don't even know what's wrong."

"I have some idea," Percy says.

"I'll be fine," she says. "Just don't worry about me. I'm fine."

He lays down next to her, pulling her to him. "You don't have to pretend to be okay," he says. "It's been an odd day."

"How can you sound so much like you and not be you?" she asks.

"If I think about that too much, my head will start hurting," he says.

"It's a lot," she says. "I was starting to handle Vax, but then I lost you too."

"You didn't lose me," he says, stroking her hair.

"You never had me in the first place," she says, and Percy really can't argue with that.

"I'm going to fix everything," he says. "I don't know how yet, but things are going to be right again."

"Whatever you do, don't do it because of me, okay?" she says. "I know I'm not over Vax, but it's only been a few weeks. I'll heal eventually."

There's so much that Percy wants to say, but he doesn't know how. It's heartbreaking but not surprising that she'd give up her happiness that readily to make someone else feel better, but he doesn't know when he started feeling the injustice of that so viscerally.

In the slight moonlight from the window, he can see when Vex cracks again, and he holds her to him as she cries. There are other things he could do, but this is the only thing that seems right. Vex is caught up in all this, buffeted between opposing forces, an innocent; all she did to bring this on herself was to die, and Percy is the one who killed her.

She doesn't try to say anything else, just cries until she falls asleep. Percy doesn't sleep at all.

\--

Walking into Westruun the next morning is not as disorienting as it could be, though it is very disorienting. Percy hasn't actually seen Westruun since the Conclave attacked, though he knows much of it was destroyed. At least he didn't have to walk into Emon; he doesn't know if he's ready to do that yet. He probably should, to pump Allura for information about Thordak if nothing else, but it's going to be very hard to deal with.

Percy wasn't going to come to Westruun, nor did he know they were scheduled to. He's perfectly capable of fighting, and it's not like he doesn't know Vox Machina's moves by this point. Still, something about it seemed inappropriate, like he'd be intruding. He voiced his concerns, but they were widely brushed off. In fact, the suggestion seemed to make some of them skittish, like they needed him more than Percy expected.

So for now, they're in Westruun, and it seems about like it always is, the times Percy has been. Vox Machina struck a deal with the Cobalt Reserve, a place Percy has been wanting to come back to for a long time, and this is the day the Reserve has selected for them to pay up.

"I want you to look at this and think hard, even if it hurts a little," Grog says to Percy, just before they enter the Reserve. "This city was wrecked, but you could keep it just like this by not lifting a finger."

"Believe me, I can't think about anything else," Percy replies. This is a lie; a large part of his attention is on Westruun, but it's divided between that and studying Vex, how quiet she seems, the way her eyes dart around like she's constantly on the lookout. Percy thinks he knows what she's looking for, and his heart aches.

The problem the Reserve is having is, thankfully, fairly straightforward. A magically powerful and formerly upstanding member of the community, having had some kind of personal crisis or demonic interference or both, has barricaded himself in the basement. Talking through the door has not helped, so more direct methods have been prescribed.

So they go into the basement to try to knock him out or restrain him or maybe just straight up kill him, depending on how things go. Unfortunately, they've barely begun trading blows before a shield guardian comes bounding down the stairs, a thing which makes a squishy wizard not very squishy at all. Grog is delighted by this turn of events, but Percy is mostly just annoyed. He has better things he could be doing than taking pot shots at an amulet in a dusty basement.

During the fight, Percy feels Vax's absence acutely. He keeps expecting Vax to climb up the guardian's back and shank it, to creep in from the edge of the fray and dart off again, to use his keen eye for distractions to deal massive blows with his small weapons. He knows everyone else feels it too, because even with Pike there, with her guiding bolts and healing spells, the fight is ugly, much more so than Percy would have expected.

It takes Percy a little longer to realize the lack of force is not just from Vax. Vex is not at her best, not by a longshot. She's drawing and shooting and hitting, but she seems to be doing it wildly, just working on instinct, not using the magical abilities afforded to her by her training and her weapons.

"Vex, conjure barrage!" Percy shouts at her in frustration.

"Right," she says, casting it before she shoots again, and Percy wonders if he should just keep barking orders. He respects her too much to do it, but he doesn't know how long he can watch this.

Wizard and guardian both eventually fall, though not without inflicting heavy damage on Vox Machina, and they regroup. None of them mention Percy's shouting, and Percy wonders if he's done it before, picking up the slack caused by Vex's distraction and misplaced guilt.

Despite his best efforts, Scanlan is unable to get the Reserve to give them the shield guardian, because even with a broken amulet it is worth many thousands of gold pieces. There are noises being made about drinks and a late lunch, and Percy ponders the best way to say he wants to stay behind and do some research.

"I'm going to stay behind and do some research," he says, because the best approach is to just say it clearly and not give them a choice.

"I'll come with you," Pike says, and Grog looks confused and a little hurt. Pike takes Percy by the arm and leads him into the shelves that stand in rows upon rows in the Reserve, and she doesn't stop walking until they're far away, not even looking at the books. A monk quickly follows them, but Pike pays no attention.

"I get the feeling you have something to say to me that doesn't have to do with research," Percy says.

"I have one of the stones and a spell I've only used once," Pike says. "I can't sit by and watch this anymore, and Vax and Vex both deserve everything we can do. If you're willing, we can go to Vasselheim right now."

"The stone won't get both of us back," Percy says, though he's already planning the visit in his head; he has the scroll of telescription on him, which will work just as well between Draconia and Vasselheim as it does in Emon.

"We'll find a way," Pike says. "You know Keyleth would come pick us up after we did something stupid."

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asks. "I know Grog will be upset."

"Grog is like my brother, and sometimes he has a way of seeing the world that cuts through things we put up when we think too hard," Pike says. "But he's wrong."

"Then let's go," Percy says, taking her hand when she offers it.

There is a flash of light and a ringing in Percy's ears, and suddenly he's standing in a temple. It's hard not to notice it's a temple to Sarenrae; given that parts of it are still under construction, Percy knows exactly where they are.

"Can you go to any temple of your deity?" Percy asks, fascinated.

"I have to cast the spell once on a specific temple and then again to go back," Pike says. "I can't carry many people, so I haven't used it."

"Well, it's come in very handy today," he says. "I guess we go to the Duskmeadow."

"I guess we do," she says.

\--

Getting an audience with the Raven Queen is disgusting.

When Percy and Pike get to Raven's Crest, a shrouded figure stands waiting, easing the door open and ushering them in. They are led to a chamber, one carved to duplicate an icy cavern in the middle of this smokey glass expanse.

A woman is waiting for them, same dark robes but with her veil flipped up; she looks kind, honest, and Percy regrets that he's going to get up in her face if he doesn't get what he wants.

"Welcome," the woman says.

"What do I have to pay to fix this?" he asks.

"That is for the Lady of Fates to decide," she says. "Come. She wishes your communion."

She begins to walk towards the staircase on the far end of the room, and Percy only has time to exchange a hand squeeze with Pike before he has to catch up. At the top of the stairs, there is a door with a heavy brass knocker, and it scrapes open after the woman- priestess?- knocks.

The room Percy is led to is, it must be said, beautiful. The high ceiling is all stained glass, light coming through it from everywhere, not a cloud above it blocking the smallest pane. More of the shrouded figures stand around the edges of an enormous pool, filled with what Percy is a bit sickened to realize is blood.

The priestess holds out a hand towards the pool. "She waits."

"I'm taking off my clothes," Percy says, already shrugging off his coat, but the shrouded figures don't seem to mind. Naked, he steps into the freezing pool of blood. He walks and walks, until it's past his shoulders, past his nose, past his head. He doesn't know how the games of gods work, because nothing happens. He swims down, looking for a sign, looking for any kind of indication as to what is required of him.

Then he cracks his head and drowns.

Around the time he starts to accept his inevitable but ignominious death, the freezing liquid turns warm, then into nothing at all. He floats in a vast expanse, and underneath him he sees many thousands of threads, an infinite mass of them, lights with no source flashing on them here and there as they stretch taut into the distance.

Percy closes his eyes, and when he opens them again there is a face before him, a delicate porcelain mask with few features. He is, by this point, terrified and regretful, but he finds that the thing that scares him the most is not drowning or being in the presence of a deity, but getting this wrong and losing his only chance at saving Vex and Vax.

"I have some questions, and I have an offer," he says, trying to remind himself that godhood is just another kind of nobility. Nobility he can do.

"So ask," the Raven Queen says. Her voice is so much more soothing than Percy expected, and it throws him a bit.

"Do you know what I've done?" he asks.

"I saw your mistakes," she says. "One after the other, such a quick path to ruination."

"Just so I'm clear," he says. "Am I where I started, or am I somewhere else?"

"Is there a difference?" she says. "Will this world evaporate like mist if you leave it? Or is there but one world, one you've disrupted and seek to disrupt further? But do you not create every world you stand in by your actions? These are the mysteries that are not for mortals to know."

"That was singularly unhelpful," Percy says.

"Where you are, when you are, my beautiful fate-touched Champion never came to me," she says. "He is bound to me by threads you cannot alter, no matter what bargains you make."

"If I may be so blunt, Vax will make for a truly awful champion," Percy says. "You'll have to go after him over and over before he makes the slightest concession. I have given my life away to a dark entity once before. You'll find me well practiced in following orders."

She is suddenly very close, her mask filling Percy's vision. "You would ask something of me when you made a deal with a foul entity to extend a life?" she says, sounding more curious than angry.

"It wasn't her time," Percy says. "We both know it wasn't her time. There was outside interference." He draws himself up. "Don't make me say her name, because I will."

"Vesh," the Raven Queen growls, and something about the venom in her tone makes her seem comfortingly human.

"I don't know a lot about her, and quite frankly, I really don't need to to know you wouldn't get along," he says. "If you give me a way to bring Vax here or save Vex there, I will do what I can to combat her and people like her, deities or not."

"You ask so much, Percival," she says.

"I'm ambitious," he says. "Let's try this, then. Vax made a deal for his sister. Let me make a deal for Vax. Imagine what you can get up to with two champions."

"You offer something so broken as yourself," she says. "What would you give me that I don't have?"

"A proficiency with firearms and a brain that is eminently suited to the kinds of machinations that go with the balance of life and death," he says. "Vax leads with his heart. I try my best not to. It would be nice to have a mixture of approaches."

"Your heart is what got you here in the first place," she says.

"I know," he says. "Let me atone for that mistake. I will give you myself fully."

"But not your heart," she says. "You cannot give away what you do not own."

All of this is reminding Percy why he is not a religious man. "We could go around and around about this, but my offer is on the table. It is your prerogative to take it or leave it."

"Will you risk this world and everyone in it?" the Raven Queen asks.

"Gods help me, I will," Percy replies.

"Will you give up everything you have?" the Raven Queen asks.

"Yes," Percy replies.

"Is it worth it to you?" the Raven Queen asks.

Percy would like to say that he thinks about it long and hard, considers that he might be dooming an entire timeline to non-existence and another to rule by dragon. He'd like to say that he weighs his options and thinks of the greater good. He'd like to say that he considers every facet of the problem and doesn't rush in.

"Absolutely," he says, almost before she finishes asking.

"Then let it be done, my Arbiter," she says, and suddenly Percy is drowning again, his vision going red, then black.

\--

It's the smell that tells Percy where he is, because it hits him before his vision returns. The air in the tomb is deeply unpleasant, but it fills his lungs, replacing the searing pain of the freezing blood within him. His mouth still tastes of copper, or he'd think he hallucinated the whole thing in the moment of Vex's death.

He once again has to figure out when he is, but it's easier this time. Vex is lying before him, propped up on Vax and Zahra as Kash mutters the words of the spell. The stone from Zahra's staff rests on her chest; Percy does nothing for a moment, unable to remember if it's his turn.

When he looks up at Vax; he is staring at the altar, where the Raven Queen is standing. Percy couldn't see her last time, but she looks just as he remembers, porcelain mask and black-red hair.

"Take me instead, you raven bitch," Vax is saying, and the Raven Queen reaches out to him, her magic mingling with Vesh's.

"Percy," Zahra says urgently. "Now."

There is no trace of the residuum glass, but Percy somehow knows what to do. He puts his hand on Vex's chest, and a pulse of energy courses down his arm; her body jumps, and Zahra, Kash, and Vax all look at him in alarm. But Percy isn't even paying attention, looking instead to the Raven Queen, who nods to him. This time, her energy overcomes Vesh's, and Vex breathes once more.

Percy sits back hard, watching as Vax cradles her. Everything, all of this, every part of it was worth it, even if Percy has to live with the knowledge of the depth and ease of his selfishness.

Or maybe worse that that, the depth and ease of his love.

They make their way out of the tomb and to the surface, all of them exhausted. As they walk, Vax tears his attention away from Vex just long enough to look at Percy. Percy takes a deep breath and lets it out, nodding to Vax, and Vax looks him over with a keen eye. He finally nods back before he returns to Vex; something has linked them this day, and Percy doesn't think either of them will forget it.

Later, Percy is keeping watch with Kash, and they both look up when Vex approaches. She walks over and sits down next to Percy. "Darling," she says, "I wanted to ask you something."

"What is it?" Percy asks, though he has some idea what the subject material will be.

"Earlier, in the tomb," Vex says, because she's the only one who seems to be able to be casual about it, probably because she's the only one who didn't have to look at her still, unbreathing form. "I know what happened with Zahra and sort of what happened with Vax."

"I suspect it will be awhile before everyone knows what happened with Vax," Percy says, though he himself already knows.

"But what did you give?" she asks.

"Maybe one day I'll tell you," he says, though he knows he won't; he's burned the world down for her twice now, and it's not his fault if she doesn't see that she's worth it. Percy puts a hand on her shoulder, and Vex arches her back, looking surprised. It confuses him, but he continues. "For now, let us say that I gave enough."

"Whatever you just did, do it again," she says. "It felt good."

Percy frowns; he hadn't meant to do anything. He looks down at his hand, and the outline of a raven's head has been burned into his shooting glove. When he looks up again, Kash is staring at him, and Percy knows suddenly what the Raven Queen wants of him.

"Fuckin' typical," Kash says, rolling his eyes.

A bird cries out somewhere in the sky, and one black feather settles on Percy's shoulder. 

He picks it up and drops it to the ground. There will be others.


End file.
